


Ping Pong Bell

by DarkSadisticAngel



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst, M/M, Preventers, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 21:07:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2443205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkSadisticAngel/pseuds/DarkSadisticAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After seducing Heero, Duo proceeds to be an utter asshole to Heero. Why did he make Heero fall in love? High Heero angst as Duo toys with him. 1x2x1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ping Pong Bell

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers apply. Inspired by the Ping-Pong song by Enrique.
> 
> 2008/09/19, 07/06/2009. Updated Version 11/10/2014.

It had been eight months since he last saw Duo. The blasted idiot had gone and taken an undercover mission without informing him deliberately. He knew this for certainty as he was Duo's assigned backup in the Preventers and also, they were together- although they didn't live together due to Duo needing his space, there had been plenty of time to tell him face to face, instead of Une informing him when he asked. That had been embarrassing. They were suppose to be partners! Duo had been acting strangely distant for the last few months before that damn mission and Heero had notice the odd behaviour but dismissed it. He had been steaming mad the first few months, but that had given way to worry and concern. He became worried enough to check via Une, this time by discrete methods, for information on Duo's progress, only to find out there was nothing inherently deep or special about the mission to warrant a complete cut-off of communications with the outside world save for the Director herself. Exactly what was wrong with Duo? They had to talk.  
The alarm he had set on Duo's apartment door had been triggered so he knew Duo had returned from the mission last night, but he figured Duo was probably tired, and so left his visit until morning. It was luckily, a Saturday, so they could talk and not be concerned with the meticulous task of turning up for work. Heero fished out his keys and inserted his received key copy of Duo's apartment. It did not enter in smoothly, nor did it turn. Heero frowned and rattled the door knob. That was odd. It didn't seem to be working. It was then he noticed the knob was newer than before. The locks had been changed. The lock was a lot more of simpler lock than the previous one, as if it had been hurriedly replaced by a cheap convenient one brought from a local hardware chain store instead of a custom made design order. Confused, Heero stared down at it. Well, Duo probably had a reason for it. He'd ask later when he'd get the new key. No doubt it was just a temporary measure. Duo would never allow his apartment to be secured that flimsily for long. Heero flipped his key chain over to a thin, round holder and unscrewed the base of it. As part of his work, he never knew when a lock picker would come handy, although he never really imagined himself to use it on Duo's apartment door, since the tools he carried around was just for basic locks.   
'Duo...?' he called out as he let himself in.  
There was no answer, but an untidy trail of clothing leading up to the closed bedroom door indicated Duo was still sleeping. Heero shrugged, and walked into the apartment with his boots on. Unlike his own place, Duo walked around in shoes, and didn't expect visitors to be barefoot. Rather the opposite, as Duo could not get the concept of leaving shoes by the door. Made it too hard to go in and out, he said.   
Duo wasn't the type to sleep in late, and would no doubt be up in a few minutes, so Heero went to the kitchen and began making breakfast for the both of them. Or rather, he took out a plate, cereal and milk for Duo, since he never ate breakfast. Or at least, not at Duo's apartment, since Duo didn't stock any rice or miso. He placed the items on Duo's side of the table, the one nearest to the window, which Duo preferred, and then placed the kettle to boil. When the water heated up, Heero switched it off, then filled and used the coffee machine. Heero placed Duo's empty mug near the coffee machine after filling his own mug, ready for Duo for when the long hair agent actually got up.  
As he predicted, it didn't take long. The smell of coffee generally woke up Duo faster than any alarm. He had barely sat down in his side of the kitchen table when he heard footsteps to his side. He placed down his coffee mug, and looked up.  
'Good morning Duo.'  
A faint curve touched his lips as he took in the sight of Duo. He didn't realise how much he had been still worrying about Duo until Duo stood in front of him. Duo was safe. The information he had tapped from Une wasn't wrong. His eyes could confirm the fact his partner was okay. Duo, oddly for once, was actually fully dressed. He wore a black turtleneck and jeans, and had runners on, with their laces only loosely tied up. There was a sleepy look on Duo's face, but dominating it was an irritated look. Heero found his smile faltering at it, as confusion struck him. He was unable to decipher the reason why Duo was shooting him daggers.  
'What's wrong?' he asked.  
Duo continued to look at Heero in silence. Then, the long hair man groaned and slumped against the kitchen's entrance.  
'You,' Duo bit out, jabbing one finger at Heero.  
'What?' Heero frowned slightly. If anyone there was anyone that was supposed to be angry, it was him, although he wasn't now. So why was Duo pissed?  
'Exactly that! Fucking hell Heero- are you really that- argh, never mind, I know. It's exactly why... aah! Damn it, why me?'  
Heero's slight frown turned into a full frown.  
'Duo, I don't understand you.'  
'Well of course you don't understand me! You couldn't understand at all anything that I've been trying to tell you for the last couple of months!'  
'We've not been in communication for the last eight months. And we've not seen each other much before hand.'  
'Exactly that! So why the hell are you here?'  
'Because I wanted to see you.'  
'So you break in my apartment?'  
'I didn't have the key,' Heero explained, puzzled.  
Exactly what was going on with Duo? Why was he...? A sneaking suspicion began to grow in him. No. He immediately squashed down the feeling. It wasn't that. It couldn't be. Still, the cold trembles of the fear inside him remained. Something was clearly wrong. He pointed to the empty chair at the opposite side of the kitchen table, and indicated for Duo to take a seat.  
Duo scowled at him, and crossed his arms across his chest in defiance.  
Heero shrugged as he saw that Duo was determined to keep standing. He felt no urge to stand, indeed, it may make Duo uncomfortable if he did. Even if he was only two inches taller than the other man after both their growth spurts in their twenties, it always annoyed Duo if he was reminded of the fact. Especially since he, out of the five, had been the only one to not pass the height of six feet by a mere third of an inch. Heero moved a little from the table as he sought a more direct eye contact with his partner.  
'Duo, you know I don't get certain things unless you explain things to me in clear, precise terms. This appears to be one of them. Tell me exactly what's going on. We need to talk.'  
Duo sighed.  
'You know, Heero, you really make it damn hard on a guy. Most people would just simply get it- you don't. Even when I've practically spelt it out to you.'  
'You're still not making sense.'  
'Argh- and you're still being...' The irritated look on Duo's face started to fade away with his sleepy look as new light came into his widening violet eyes. 'Aw fuck, I really think now that you're not... Oh shit, you are on for real.'  
'Duo...' Heero growled in frustration. 'Can you speak in full and coherent sentences... please?'  
Duo's shoulders slumped, and he uncurled himself from his defensive stance near the doorway. Duo moved towards the kitchen table, but did not sit. Instead, he kept on standing as he looked at Heero. Duo just looked at Heero. In silence.  
Frustration clawed at him as Heero wrestled with his confusion, but he managed to sit there still while meeting Duo's eyes.  
'I'm sorry, Heero, but I think that there's been a misunderstanding. And I think that misunderstanding's been there for some time. Damn it, I really feel like the bad guy here to be the one saying this, but Heero- I'm not... you're not... we're not together. As in, together-together.'  
Heero blinked.  
'What?'  
'Look, I'd admit, for some time, the sex was great- hell, you've been a fucking blast, and I don't think I'd ever- well, never mind that. It's just... well, I'm not a guy who's into commitment. Like... you are. I thought you got it, and was fine, but it looks like, um... aw fuck. You and I just need to break up. That's all. I just can't take this shit anymore.'  
'You don't love me anymore?'  
'Love- what the fuck? Heero! You seriously didn't- love- what the fucking hell!? Heero, I thought you... Oh hell, Heero... I'm sorry. Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't realise that's why you were so fucking....' Duo groaned. 'Now I fucking realise that I've been the blind one.'  
'....' Heero had been kicked in the gut before. He had been winded many times. He'd been through pain so severe that medication couldn't even blunt before, when he hovered at the brink of death. But he'd never felt this way before. It was just... overwhelming. He knew he was going into shock. He could feel his mind separating itself from the reality before him. It was never a good sign, but somehow, he knew it was necessary. Otherwise...  
'I'm sorry Heero. I've never loved you. I think of you as a good friend, and one of my closest. Hell, you're the only one I slept with- oh fuck, I'm sorry I didn't realise that you felt differently.... I'm sorry, Heero. Look, I don't want to lose you as my buddy, okay? Can't we... stay friends?'  
'No.'  
Belatedly, Heero realised it was him who had spoke.  
'We've never been friends, Duo,' he said firmly, but distantly.  
Heero stood up and reached for his cup of coffee. Without saying a word, he moved to the kitchen sink and dumped the hot, liquid contents out before washing the mug quickly. Turning it upside down to dry, he left it on the counter.  
'Sorry to have disturbed you.'  
With a polite nod, he left without really looking at Duo. As he crossed the door entrance and looked down at his boots leaving the area of the mat thrown inside the apartment room to the cold, concrete hallway outside, he realised that the custom of keeping shoes on inside really did made it convenient for entering... and leaving. Maybe that's the reason why, he thought blankly, that Duo never visited his apartment after the first time. Since that would've had meant that Duo intended to stay with him.

 

Duo munched on a ration bar as he strolled into the Preventer building, barely pausing for long for the brief scanning check that occurred every morning by the front security personnel. He no longer ate cereal for breakfast, there was sometime damn unappetising about the cold meal nowadays, but he had to eat something. The ration bar, with its good old taste of his independent rebel days, was the perfect substitute. Even if eating it in the halls did earn the disapproving look slipped to him by a uniform secretary who bypassed him. Duo shrugged it off easily as he made his way to his empty office.  
The place was clean as a whistle and bare on one side, while his own space was crowded and over following with an assortment of books, rolled up and splayed posters and gadgets of every description stuffed absent-mindedly in a box, or on cabinets. The office looked as it usually did, except the sole, worn black pen that used to be laid out perfectly across the table, with an accompanying thick, blank notepad half torn out, no longer resided on the opposite desk. More items in better condition instead, were laid out on the desk's top, contained within the plastic packaging that marked new stationary for a new arrival.  
The human resources team had done its job effectively well considering Heero's reassignment had taken place over the weekend. Duo had arrived on the Monday morning apprehensive as hell after their... well, "talk", but by then, everything of Heero's had disappeared from the office, and there was an official notice stuck on the door- probably because his desk was a mess- to inform him he'd be assigned a new partner by the month's end. The notice being on the door had almost resulted him in needing a nose job as Wufei had stormed into the room without knocking just as he finished reading it. Instead, he just got a bruised cheek instead, which still hurt even now. Better than his ears, which were deaf from some incoherent rant Wufei gave him about not irritating Heero before leaving. It was like Wufei had been under the impression he'd pissed off Heero somehow with a prank, which was why Heero requested the reassignment.  
Hm... He'd thought the others knew, but maybe their relationship had been discreet?  
But at least he did get to know where Heero went from Wufei. It wasn't very far. They were still in the same building and on the same level, but Heero was now located in the East wing, instead of the North-West where he was. The building was angled, which allowed him to look through his own office window over to the far side, and see Heero's new office, but they were far apart. Not that he could see Heero- only the vague, distant outline of another agent. Heero never sat comfortably near a window. Even if he couldn't see in the room clearly, he knew the agent near the window to be Quatre. Quatre was a part-time Preventer, although "officially" he wasn't listed on the books nor did Quatre sport a badge. Being the Winner head, he was in the prime position to carry out duties of a different nature than what the ordinary Preventer handled. And that was politics. Which was the field that Heero had moved to.  
Duo was surprised by the move. He'd thought Heero would have stayed in special ops.... Although, considering, the special ops force was a little too small to avoid him. However, the work was active and required a top-notch combination of all skills, both physical and mental. It well suited Heero's abilities, unlike the political force which purely dealt in gathering and processing information. In other words, the paperwork grind mill. Like, shit, it wasn't that bad a break that they couldn't work together, right? Right?   
Oh fuck, he'd really lost a friend.  
No. He'd lost Heero. Heero had been more than a friend- he'd been his best friend.  
'No. We've never been friends, Duo.'  
Duo's head jerked up at the familiar, husky voice. Then he realised Heero wasn't with him. It had been just in his head. A memory. Duo attempted to shake his head clear. It had been bugging him- that statement. What had Heero meant? They had been friends before... they'd became friends with benefits. During the first war, they'd been side by side, fighting. Comrades. Friends. Well, Heero had been a bit of an anal, cold off-standish prick at the start, though. And none too good with social skills of communication then. He'd been pissed as hell when Heero took off after the major war, and coming back with nary an apology to stop the Mariemaria uprising. But then things had progressed afterwards when Heero recovered from his injuries, and they, well really became good friends. Friends with excellent benefits.   
It happened purely by chance- he'd didn't really expect Heero to return his kiss when he kissed Heero as a joke to follow-up on his teasing of Heero and Relena's relationship in during his visit to the hospital. It had just to see how'd the stoic soldier would react. He knew Heero had been nearly healed, which meant that Heero was in lethal form and now doubt kill him for it, but it had shocked him when instead of a punch or some sort of ninja, painful technique he'd been expecting for his daring- Duo always liked to push the lines no matter what the punishment was- he'd gotten a damn, good beating of a different sort.  
Virgin, he was not. Not even back in the wars. There was much to be said for the activeness of the hormones of a teenage boy. It had allowed him to literally spend nights fighting and screwing around without worse for wear.  
Come to think of it, Heero had been a bit awkward then, and that had lasted a few times until they got the hang of each other's bodies. Maybe he had been a virgin? Like, aside from the killing and perfect soldier stuff, had Heero been a honest to goodness pristine clean schoolboy? Did he seduce some innocent?  
Duo immediately kicked the thought, along with the guilt that came with it, firmly out of his mind.   
It was a stupid thought anyway. Heero was nothing like Relena- she was such a good girl type that Duo would never touch her with a ten foot pole, let alone a raging hard-on, if he'd ever could work one up for the bitch. Even now, Duo didn't know why, but he really didn't like her.   
Heero had just been damned shy about showing affection and stuff- at least, until lately, when Duo found himself smothered by Heero, the psycho stalker who just didn't get when to piss off.  
Although he'd left pretty fast and cut all contact damn efficiently after their talk.  
As if...   
Damnit, he really was starting to feel like he'd been the bad guy in this, and Duo knew he wasn't.  
Duo sighed.  
It was better this way, anyway, he thought. He should be grateful Heero didn't give him trouble after the stonehead actually got it through his thick skull that they weren't lovebirds. He'd lost a friendship, sure. Duo winced. Okay, so he lost his best friend. It did hurt. But he knew he couldn't have stand it any longer, with Heero invading his space practically every day. A first, he hadn't minded so much, they had been comrades during the wars, and were partners at the Preventers and everything, after all, so he had been use to Heero always being around. But then one morning, something in him had just clicked, and he'd realised Heero had been hanging around way too much. He didn't even see his other friends as much as he saw Heero, he had realised. And that led him to realise just how much Heero had not respected his personal privacy. Although, sure, Heero had never slept over in his bed as Duo didn't sleep with anyone in his room, but the man was nearly always there in the morning, if he wasn't on a mission, making him friggin' breakfast before they went to work together. They didn't even live together, but Duo realised, it had been damn like they were living together. He had an alarm clock and his own transport- he didn't need Heero to wake him up and drive him to work. That was definitely too much. It wasn't like they were....  
But then again, Heero had thought they were....  
Aw shit.   
The empty office wouldn't feel so damn empty one once he got a new partner.  
He was a social guy, after all. He just needed people around.   
A month of waiting? Hm... Duo shrugged. He'd pop by the water cooler for a chat. There was always somebody there he could talk to, even if he didn't know their names.  
It was better than attempting to work in the silence left behind by Heero's absence.

 

It should have been... more difficult.  
Yet it wasn't.  
It should have been... not this difficult.  
Yet it was.  
Duo kept his eyes firmly on the piece of the piece of paper. Or tried. They kept on sliding of their own accord onto the side profile of the brown hair agent working before him.  
Heero was back in his office. But he wasn't the only one. Quatre had a temporary desk brought in, and was working beside Heero. They were on a major case. And Heero had surprised him with his attitude. Or rather, lack of.  
Heero was nothing but politely distant.  
It was like old wartime Heero.   
And what was weird, the normally sensitive Quatre would could sense emotions from a mile away wasn't picking up any vibes.  
Or at least, none from Heero. The blond had thrown him some worried looks, and bit down on his lip a few times as if the blond had something more to say or ask, but wasn't sure of what he wanted to pry about. It was like he considered the very weird attitude of Heero's to be quite normal  
Like, when since Heero not smiling become normal? Heero's face had practically been that of a stone when Duo opened the door to find the agent and Quatre on the other side.  
And his voice was so damn icy. There was no warmth at all.   
And he wasn't like that to just Duo- he was speaking to Quatre in the exact tone of voice, and Quatre didn't looked at all perturbed by the robot act. As if Quatre considered the perfect soldier farce to be normal!  
It wasn't.   
Heero had a romantic, L1 lilt to his voice that usually softened the edge of his sentences and blurred it, giving a soft balance to his deep huskiness. The sharp clip to his military-like statements now made his speech sound like a surly growl. Duo felt like he was being shouted at even though Heero had not raised his voice. It was just a monotone tide of dryness. The same sort of tone the former soldier turned Preventer had always used when they were under attack.  
It was making him damn tense!  
When Heero exited the room to attend an outside meeting, Duo threw down the papers he held and swore. 'What the fuck is up with Heero, do you know?'  
Quatre frowned.  
'There's nothing wrong with Heero. Are you okay, Duo?'  
'There's nothing wrong with me- I'm just pissed at Heero. Why the hell is he still acting like that?  
'Like what?'  
'The whole stoneface routine. He didn't even crank one smile when I did my best puppy look, and he always does! Even if when he's pissed at me....'  
'What?! What do you mean- uh, never mind. ' Quatre looked strangely at Duo. 'Um... Duo... Heero's just like that. You know that. He doesn't smile, or laugh. Are you sure you're feeling okay?'  
'What? Of course he does.'  
Quatre laughed.   
'Right,' he said, with clear scepticism. 'If so, I've never seen that. I think the sky would fall down if Heero ever showed any expression. You can stop the jokes. Having the thought of Heero smiling alone is either proof you need to take a drug test, or talk to a psychiatrist. There's a reason why he's called the Perfect Soldier. I'm his friend, and all, but I swear at times, he's really acts like he's more a machine then human. Especially when he's in mission mode.' Quatre shook his head. 'Duo, I really can't imagine it. I really don't know where you get your ideas from, but I'd advise you not to pester Heero about it. He's a very serious person, after all.'  
Quatre placed down a sheaf of papers on his temporary desk and gave Duo a concerned looked.   
'I'm sorry to say this, but, you really seem out of it today. I'm sure Heero's not angry with you, despite what Wufei thinks. He did say he wanted to try a different field, and you know Heero-'   
Quatre's phone blipped. The blond checked the screen and made a face.   
'Sorry, I've got to take this call- I'll be back.' Quatre lifted up the device to his ear. 'But if you're thinking of provoking him with another prank, please don't. Heero's is not really the tolerant type.'  
Duo blinked.  
He was starting to think that he didn't know Heero at all.  
Or at least, the impression Quatre had of Heero was very different from his own. And that was giving him a disjointed feeling, as if Quatre was seeing a different reality from him. It was weird. Quatre was usually quite a perceptive person.  
He knew his Heero wasn't...wasn't this unfeeling bastard!  
Duo pretended to be deaf to the dry voice that reminded Heero wasn't his and pointedly ignored the niggling thought that maybe the person who deserved the title of bastard wasn't Heero.

 

The case was closed. Some biggie politicians and a few rebel groups got slapped up grandly. And Duo was fucking pissed as hell at Heero.  
He'd never been treated so... damn cold by anyone before in his life. Even when they were talking, Duo had the distinct impression that Heero was not looking at him but actually through him. And it was so fucking weird that nobody, absolutely nobody, even picked up anything. Except for Quatre- who picked up a vibe of god knows what because the blond had taken to patting him on the shoulder before he left the office to reassure Duo that he was there if Duo needed to talk.   
Hell, there was nothing wrong with him. Heero was being an utter prick, that was all. If Heero didn't stop growling at him in that monotone of his, Duo swore that he... that he.... Damn, so he was a little bit upset.  
Duo stormed into the group's makeshift office.  
It was empty. For some reason, that made him angrier. And then Duo realised why he was so angry. And got even more angrier. Heero wasn't there. He had to talk to Heero. Now that the mission was completely over and done with, the asshole would not be able to hide behind mission-speak. So Duo went hunting for Heero.  
The agent wasn't in the offices. Heero wasn't even remotely around the carpark area either. Duo knew Heero was in the headquarters somewhere- Une hadn't had the final briefing yet, and always insisted on a direct briefing from her agents.  
Heero wasn't hiding from him, was he?  
Duo frowned at the thought. No, that couldn't be right. He didn't think Heero would hide from him. That would indicate there was something about him that Heero feared. And Duo knew Heero had no fear. Lord knows, during the mission, there had been a number of near suicidal moments that Heero jumped in with a second thought regarding his safety. Never mind that Heero survived it all- Duo's heart nearly didn't.  
God, he was angry and he was worried about Heero. How dare the prick disappear on him? Where the hell would he be? Certainly not up in the hardly used roof area which stairwell he was climbing up. Despite being one of the few places which had easily by-passable security doors to the outside, the only reason why none of the agents who were smokers at the Preventers ever made used of it was not because the bottom entrance to the stairway was monitored well- the system still had some flaws, it was because climbing up the damn stairwell to the tiny roof space took over an hour at a fast pace.   
It was high up, but despite this, the view was horrible- there was not much of one. The door opened out to a tiny enclosed space with only slits inside the four walls which allowed a sharp, whistling cold breeze to steep through. Above the enclosure, the sky was squared away by razor thin wires which had killed several high flying birds who attempted to settle on them to rest before the birds learnt to avoid the place. The bones of the dead had been left rotting on the ground as a warning to others.   
It was an ugly, stark place that Duo didn't really expect to find Heero in when he opened the door to check anyway. Nor did Heero expect him to find him there, too, going by the flicker of surprise Duo briefly saw in Heero's expression before his face closed off once again and the agent became inscrutable.   
'What are you doing here?' Duo demanded.  
Heero shrugged and turned back to the slit where he had been looking through.  
Duo crossed his arms and leant back on the door- the only exit from the situation.  
Fine. He could outwait Heero. He was a patient guy.  
Seconds passed into minutes, and minutes into hours.  
During that time, both Heero's and Duo's pagers beeped repeatedly, but neither made a move to answer the devices. Une could go to hell. After the sky had substantially darkened, the pagers stopped beeping.  
Without the annoying beeping, waiting in the silence seem to feel longer.  
Fuck it, he wasn't a patient guy.  
Upon that thought, Duo began moving- his silent feet giving Heero no warning until he was onto Heero. The agent jerked around in shock as Duo swung Heero away from the wall. He kissed Heero, forcing the other agent's head back.  
Duo was determined to break Heero's mask.  
And he knew exactly what do with his tongue to get a reaction.  
He didn't expect it to be nearly bitten off, and withdrew hastily before a force slammed his chest and his breath was knocked out from his lungs.  
Duo wheezed and doubled over.  
'What the hell do you want from me!?' Heero shouted as he removed his extended flat palm from between Duo's ribs. Heero's blue eyes were a flashing tormented mess of emotions. Raw, blazing emotions that Duo had not seen over the four months, two weeks, and three days of working on the case with the agent emerged. Shit- so he didn't get a proper kiss but he did succeed in breaking Heero's mask. Exhilaration tore through his veins at the burning glare Heero turned on him. The sight of Heero's heaving shoulders with his arms crossed protectively across his chest made Duo smirk in satisfaction.  
Now what?  
Good question. Now what? Came a dry voice in his head. It sounded suspiciously like his guilty conscious.  
His smirk faded.  
'What the hell do you... want?' Heero's voice broke. The L1 lilt was back and clear in his voice. His accent made even more pronounced by his emotions. 'Duo, damn you- just what is it that you want? If you're so determined to be alone- why aren't you leaving me alone!?'  
Duo opened his mouth to reply. His throat worked but nothing came out.  
And Duo found that he couldn't answer him.  
Silence, thick with tension cloaked the room, filling it so that the air was chocking.  
Heero eyed Duo with an angry and bitter glare, his Prussian blue eyes turning darker than the sky's trapped ocean with his emotions.  
'I hate you,' Heero whispered harshly. 'All I wanted was to be left alone. Before, I was fine like that. But you showed me everything that now I know I was better off not knowing about. I should have listened to my instincts. I should have not trusted you. I knew you were all wrong for me even as you cajoled and enticed me into things I never wanted to do. You've never even shown the capacity to be directly honest- but still you demand nothing less from me. You always made sure I'd be vulnerable to you. Demanded I'd be open. You've no sense of understanding even about how hard it was. To let go of everything and just... believe in you- to ignore that damning sensation of fear and sense of dread that kept on gnawing at me.   
I was a stupid fool. Even when I realised you'd never leave yourself open to anyone, include me, I thought... I thought everything would be fine because you said... you said we'd be together beyond death- that we were partners beyond life itself. That our bond that connected would last beyond that of any royal bloodline or humanity itself. Even when you said it so flippantly, I believed it because... otherwise, why did you first kiss me then? Why? Was it just all a joke? Some sick prank to follow up a slick, pretentious fake line made up on the spot to bait a reaction out of me when I was in the hospital, weakened with serious injuries after Mariemaria was done?'  
Duo's breath inhaled sharply.  
'...I don't believe. It was, wasn't it!?'  
Shock was evident in his voice.  
'You... You were never serious from the start, weren't you? It was just a lie. Just like everything else, I was just something to be used. Just an instrument for your entertainment, and like an idiot, I never realised it until now.' Heero snorted in self derision at himself, but the false sound of amusement was belied by his deadening eyes. The glittering bitterness and anger leaking from his previous bright depths to fade the brilliant blue to a bleak dullness.  
'I called you the fool all those years, but I was the actual fool, wasn't I? A true naive, blasted fool! Hell, I believed we actually had a relationship when none existed! Did it make you laugh? To see how stupid I was when I hopelessly fell in love with you, Duo? Am I really that much of an amusing past-time that you have to push to see how far I'd last until I finally breakdown and stop functioning completely? Well... stop playing with me. I'm not a fucking toy, damn you to hell!'   
Heero's last curse was spoken in a growl only centimetres away from Duo's face, his fist gripping the collar of his shirt so that Duo was jerked forward and off-balance towards Heero. Heero had moved so fast that Duo had not seen him coming. The sudden change from weary desolation to anger was fast. No. Now that Heero was close to him, Duo saw by the very faint tremors of Heero's clenched fist that Heero was more than angry- he was in a rage, and barely was holding on to the legendary perfect soldier restraint he was known for.  
Heero could so easily kill him.   
That alarming reminder flashed in his head. Heero was a fucking dangerous weapon. Although he generally avoided direct confrontations, Duo had seen countless times in the field when Heero had lethally choked or snapped the necks of men bigger than himself with nary a blink. Heero's hands had blood on them. He was trained killer.  
But like a fool, Duo ignored the fact he was in peril, too spellbound by the sheer energy and violence of emotions he saw before him.  
Duo could not prepare any verbal response to the situation. His throat had seized up and his mind had gone strangely blank and numb at the sight of tears glinting over Heero's eyes. It made his stormy Prussian blue eyes seem like sea jewels. Darkly beautiful and enticing.  
It was his unconsciousness that provided his answer to the situation as he moved without thinking, and kissed Heero fully on the lips. Again.  
Heero froze at the unexpected second attack, his lips parting in surprise and allowing Duo full entry as he neglected to defend himself. Duo quickly tasted Heero with a flicker of his tongue.  
And then Duo was in Heero- deep, deep inside. At his invasion, Heero began slowly responding back as Duo hit some sort of trigger within him. Unthinking first, as if he was on automatic pilot, then with a jerk, Heero began kissing his back like he was on a suicidal diving mission.  
Yes. That was what he had been missing. The passion. The wildness of desire that had so snarled him and scared him with its depth. He was brought back home, to the place where he belonged- with his Heero. There wasn't a trace of the damn perfect work machine that wasn't human. Nothing mechanic could be as warm as Heero's mouth, his heated, inquisitive tongue, and the desperately tight embrace he was in.  
His legs were just weakening underneath him to a bad extent when he was flung back with a jerk against the walls.  
'Ooof! Ow!' He instinctively massaged the back of his head which had banged against the hard wall with his left hand.  
'Damnit...' Heero held onto Duo's shoulder as he unsteadily tried to distance himself away from Duo.  
'Heero?' Duo queried raggedly.   
Duo placed down his left hand on top of Heero's right hand, and lightly trapping Heero as he pressed downwards with his fingers.  
Heero focused on him with shiny, Prussian blue eyes that were in turmoil.  
'What do you want?' he whispered. 'I don't want to even admit this and know I shouldn't, but I'll give you anything. I'd be a fool for you over again, but I very much suspect you already damn well know that. Just tell me... clearly, what do you want?'  
Duo sighed and traced his hand down Heero's arm, curving his fingers around the strong, yet clearly shaking muscles. 'I'm sorry, Heero,' Duo apologised softly.   
Heero flinched a little, but then stilled.  
'What do you want, Duo?'  
The lilt of his L1 accent sent a surge of heat direct to Duo's groin.  
'I want you.'  
'Why?'  
Instead of answering in words, Duo pulled Heero towards him. And Duo simply held Heero.  
That was his answer.  
'Don't do this to me, Duo. I can't take it. Please... don't.'  
Heero harshly inhaled as Duo undressed the Preventer agent, pressing soft kisses along side Heero's neck as he pulled open Heero's shirt to expose the man's magnificent chest to the cold air. Lowering his head to lick at the tight nipples, he heard a hiss then a groan from Heero. It was then Duo knew that he had Heero completely. The hands that returned to flexed around his neck by survival instinct would not break it despite Heero clearly wanting to do so. The most lethal human force in the entire world was entirely in his control. With a maniac grin, Duo unzipped Heero and freed his large erection into the cold freezing breeze. Then he engulfed the organ with his warm mouth, sucking in the taste of Heero. Heero's knees buckled and the man flattened his hands onto Duo's shoulders in order to keep his balance.  
'Duo... please.... no....' Heero begged.  
Duo ran his tongue up and down the length of Heero's shaft, causing the man to finally kneel and sit back, unable to keep standing. There were tiny tremors building up in Heero's body as the man spread his legs further apart as Duo's questing hands demand access to play with Heero's balls and the sensitive skin just below and between Heero's legs. Heero's breathing got faster and more shallower as the other man began to thrust into Duo's mouth, his begging trailing off into soft whimperings of need.  
As Heero jerked and came into Duo's mouth, Duo swallowed the sour rush greedily. Heero slumped, spent. Duo licked the last traces off Heero's tip then tugged on Heero's lower arm to indicate Heero should lie down. Ignoring the tiny dead bones littering the dirty ground, Heero obeyed. When he did, Duo clambered up onto the half-naked agent, and straddled Heero.  
Heero looked up at him. His slightly-glazed eyes still held traces of passion, but a gradual, haunted darkness slowly emerged from Heero's blue depths as he came to his senses. The Prussian blue darkened to an emotionally exhausted tiredness.  
'Are you okay?'  
'No.' Heero stated honestly. 'But I don't have to be. Whatever you want Duo, fool that I am, if I can do it- I'll give it to you. Use me as you see fit, but I'm not perfect. I'm only human. I hope you will at least remember that in your games.'  
A sharp thudding pain seared though Duo's heart at Heero's complete surrender. Duo's throat worked.  
'Say... all... that shit that you pulled during the mission- you were trying to kill yourself, weren't you?'  
'....'  
'Answer me, damn it.'  
'....yes.'  
'Why?'  
'To escape.'  
'What?'  
'Reality.'  
'What bullshit is your reality?'  
'Your bullshit.'  
'....I want you to stop shit like that.'  
'If I could stop loving you, I would. If I could stop being a complete and utter pathetic fool around you, I would. I can't even fucking die properly,' Heero said bitterly.  
And suddenly, the guilt that he had been ignoring all the months that he'd known he'd been treating Heero like shit came down on Duo like a mountain landside. Duo realised, he had been deceiving himself. Whatever lies he thought to have been the single truth became stark in their ugliness. He hadn't been sick of Heero. It had been the opposite. He had been desperately wanting Heero so much that he had gotten afraid. For the first time in his life, he'd had known true fear and as a result of not confronting it, he had very nearly lost Heero.   
Permanently.   
In his heart, he'd always known Heero wasn't inhumanely strong as all the others believed him to be- that had been the true reason why he had been attracted to Heero. The contradiction between Heero's words and actions had caught his eye from their very first meeting, and the intriguing apparent mystery had led him to pursue Heero. Hell, there was no way Heero could have seemed experienced at all when they first did it in the hospital- he had been that awkward and stiff just with the kissing part, let alone the other stuff that followed then. He had told a crap load of lies to himself to justify his actions.  
Honesty was his motto. But lies had been his real creed.  
'Heero.... My... Heero....' he reached out a hand and stroked Heero's cheek. The other man closed his eyes and leaned into his touch as he did so. 'I'm so sorry.'  
'What do you want?' Heero asked, his lashes still closed as he rested his cheek against the palm of Duo's hand. 'What do you want from me?'  
'There's I only want one thing from you.' Duo said shakily.  
Heero opened his eyes and looked up at Duo.  
'What is it?'  
'Let me love you.'  
Heero's eyes widened in shock.   
'Duo...?'  
Duo twined his fingers through Heero's locks and kissed Heero. As Duo moved back again, he saw Heero's blue eyes soften to an expression filled with puzzled wonderment.  
'You are mine,' Duo stated with certainty.  
'Yours,' Heero agreed, the clear soft L1 lilt in his voice evident as a bell. 'Always, yours.'  
Duo knew that he should feel horrible when a smug, warm satisfaction filled him.  
But he didn't.

 

Fin.


End file.
